Defined.

Defined.

We are defined as diabetics. 

But we are not diabetics - we are not our disease.

Even when people without diabetes are not judging us we are judging ourselves.

HBA1C.

We judge ourselves on this value.

Are we doing well enough managing this disease we did not ask for?

Today I had clinic.

I don't have a perfect HBA1C, I am not a perfect diabetic.

Is there such a thing?

I am not defined by my HBA1C, I am not defined by my HBA1C, I am not defined by my HBA1C

But I am.

Maybe not by my consultant and diabetic nurses who just want us to try our best.

But by myself, ourselves.

A disease that is so defined by numbers.

And im not saying a HBA1C isn't important because I know it is.

The complications, the worry and the guilt that comes from one number.

Striving for this one perfect number.

A non diabetic level in a diabetics world.

If mine isn't the NICE guideline HBA1C I cry.

I am defined by a book not a person LIVING with diabetes.

Yet I shouldn't define myself and neither should anyone else. 

We are advocates, bloggers, twitterers, gbdocers and friends.

We are more than just a number.

But numbers are important in our life.

The question is where do we draw the line between textbook and living?

Lots of love The Backpacker and the Pod xxx